Female Brownie Point System

The female demerit point system:
In the world of romance, one single rule applies; make her happy. Do something she likes, you get points. Do something she dislikes, you lose points.

You don't get points for doing something she expects you to do. Sorry, that's the nature of the game. Here is a short list of ways to get points or lose them:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but without the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over the rumpled sheet (-1)
You go out to get her something she wants (+5), in the rain (+8)
But you stopped at a bike shop (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise but it's nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it was something (+5)
You pummel it with your baseball bat (+10)
It's her pet (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for awhile but decide to chat with an old school friend (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Who has had "enhancements" (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (+2)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, and it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted your favorite team's colors (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her out to a movie (+1)
You take her out to a movie that she likes (+3)
You take her to a movie that you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie that you like (-2)
It has machine guns and explosions (-3)
You lied and said that it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to lose it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy sweatpants and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say "it doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate while responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for over 30 minutes without looking at the tv (+500)
She realizes this is because you fell asleep (-4000)

*Stole this from the internet* Good thing this isn't for real. I'm seriously in the negative numbers.